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Is your dog a Princess ?


Spoilt, pampered, and bordering on anxious are words that come to mind when I think about my gorgeous furchild, while others have gone as far to suggest that her problematic attachment disorder has turned her into a bit of a bitch..but without the tiara (the other Princess Grigri will not share his blingbling)


Like her mother, she sees herself as an independent woman of a certain age, who will no longer suffer fools gladly – in particular those of the weaker sex – and who finally knows what she wants out of the last chapter of her life, i.e. everything her own way.


How to spot a Princess in 8 steps


1. She doesn’t eat breakfast. Whilst she eats her breakfast on occasion, she is much more likely to sniff at the dog biscuits in her bowl in disgust and then stroll to the fridge, where she will wait till you arrive and death-stare you until you give her favorite treat, a piece of chickenfillet. Do NOT give her a different brand.. she knows


2. She is silent inside the house – but she has a part-time job as the side kick of Grigri when they go outside. If someone so much as breathes in the street, she becomes the Rottweiler she thinks she is (yes, she will be looking and barking in the wrong direction when attacking the air because of her not so good eye sight)


3.Maintaining a body like hers requires a bowl of cool, spring water, changed twice a day.


4. Her bowel habits are erratic, but she hasn’t lost her humour when it comes to the sheer delight she experiences from spacing out her poos on walks. One log here, and another a few metres further along the street – more often than not in the middle of our grumpy neighbour’s lawn. And she really loves this game when you are low on bags.



5. Her preference in terms of sleeping arrangements is to sleep in the bed next to me, fur to skin. IF I get up she will scoot over so that I bearly sleep on the side of the bed (if or when I fall out – No wine involved – she will sigh heavily because I woke her up) .


6. She does not tolerate other dogs outside her family. Any dog that gets too close to her rear end is dealt with appropriately. Interestingly, she is not quite as circumspect about her own butt-hole inspections.


7. Like most middle-aged women, she has a low tolerance for idiots, doesn’t give too many fucks and she has been known to suffer from the odd mood swing or ten.


8. She is a homebody who does not cope well with transitions. She does a very credible impression of a dead dog attached to a lead when she is manipulated into doing something she doesn’t want to do. Preferably she will wait untill she has a crowd around her..


Anyone else have a “Princess” for a dog?


Signed,

a senior dog mom-a-holic going to the kitchen to give the Princess a treat

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